Am I Homesick? Making the unfamiliar familiar
I want to acknowledge that you are likely homesick because you care. And caring is a great thing. Maybe you care deeply for those back home, be it parents, friends, pets, or just your former sense of place. The ability to care so deeply at times needs to be cared for in and of itself.
In my personal and professional experience as a psychologist working throughout five campuses, I’ve come to reenvision homesickness as more about a system overload issue rather than a ‘sickness.’
Homesickness arrives when we are exposed to overwhelming amounts of newness.
Take a moment to consider sensory experiences – Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, and Touch – that you may remember from childhood. What comes to mind? Maybe it’s the sound of footsteps across a kitchen floor or the smell of a specific meal.
Now consider that you’ve moved into an entirely new environment with all new sensory information. New sights, new sounds, new smells, new tastes, and new textures – it’s overwhelming to say the very least.
If we can assume that ‘newness’ and change is behind this feeling, we can also assume that it will fade as the new becomes familiar.
Therein lies the primary intervention for navigating homesickness: to make what is unfamiliar familiar.
First and foremost, be incredibly kind to yourself during any transition period. That is what homesickness is – it is a felt response to a transition. It can be powerful to name it, but then it’s time to get to work to care for it.
Start by decreasing the expectations you may hold for yourself over the coming days/weeks as you transition. Allowing yourself to be OK with slowing down during this time may allow for you to transition more fully into the present and make what is unfamiliar, familiar.
Here are some ideas to do just that:
Eat in the same spot every morning. While you are there, try to eat some protein. We’ve learned that consuming protein in the morning has been found to help make serotonin, a neurotransmitter that calms your mood and increases feelings of happiness and well-being.
As you walk to class, take the same route, being mindful of all the new sensory inputs around you. You may find that practicing mindful walking can be useful.
Organize your room to provide you with a sense of comfort and familiarity. For example, consider using the same laundry detergent that you’ve used at home, or the same personal products such as deodorants, perfumes, etc.
Find a new spot to frequent. For example, a quiet spot to take a walk, or maybe a desk in the library to always sit at and focus on being present and mindful in that space.
Lastly, communicate what you need from others. Sometimes, friends, partners, and family members recognize you are feeling homesick and make an added effort to contact you throughout the day. While this shows a significant amount of care, it can also be distracting. Look at your schedule for the day and consider communicating to your family and friends within a specific timeframe. That way, throughout the other parts of the day, you can remain more present knowing that you have dedicated time to reconnect with those who want to support you.
